They say humans are social animals, they can't live alone. But you can live pretty well by yourself. I tell ya...instead of feeling alone in a group, it's better to have real solitude all by yourself.

–Faye Valentine

Indifferent

The 24th of April

Indiffrence; it seems to dictate my view on life for the past few months. You know it's funny, I actually started writing this yesterday morn, and little has changed.I'm not exactly suffering, but I'm not having all that pleasant of a time either. How can one feel so under and overwhelmed at the same time?!

It gets so grating to persevere when I feel significantly less passionate about life . I know it'll get better, and I know life isn't always painful, but I get tired waiting, hoping and fighting. I'm not even in pain.. I'm just so detached from everything. Each day I wake up wishing I was back in bed - asleep, that is; I'm in my room most of the time anyway... Exercise does help improve my state but even changing out of my pjs to go outside is vexatious on it's own.

I wish I was in uni like my peers. I wanna be in animation school desperately... I was supposed to be working on my portfolio submission but I've become so jaded and a lot has happened since January. I know it's unhealthy to compare but people don't know just how isolating to not have friends in the same stage of life as you. I'm very lonely in general... I wish I was the one cared for and not the other way around for once. Anyway, yeah, hope is quite the finite resource. Such is life I suppose.

On a more positive note: Hoooooo BOY I am addicted to coding. Who would've known it'd be this fun!? It's the only aspect in my life that truly brings me joy and fulfillment. Sure, I have many distractions a la binging Ojamajo Doremi and Hey Arnold, but nothing has made me more sincerely proud than working on this site. I'm very happy with my neocities atm. I'm especially in love with my rainbow button grid and background; If you couldn't already tell, I adore rainbows. Same with my ojamajo header 💘

Speeeaaking of Ojamajos hehe. I'M HYPERFIXATING SO HARD ON EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SQUEEEEEEEE I LOVE DOREMI SO MUCH she is me I am her we are one 💕 I relate to her sooooo much. No one gets her like I do. I plan to continue season 1 later today :333

I'ma add more to this blog later but for now I'm gonna grab a very late lunch (it's 3:47pm rn)

Sincerely, Zoe.


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