Another Sleepless Night

The 11th of April

I currently cannot sleep... if you couldn't already infer from the title. Maybe I shouldn't be writing about my inability to sleep. Perhaps injecting the blue light from my Macbook Pro into the retnas of my eyes is in fact a misguided desicion, one that might disrupt the equillibrium of my already troubled sleep cycle. I should care more, but I fear I just do not have that will. Not unless the clonadine finally sedates me

Misguided desicions may just be my thesis for 2026. I can't seem to stop making them despite my efforts. Paradoxically I can't seem to have the courage to put myself out there and fail. What a conundrum indeed.

Maybe I'm being a self-pitying person projecting my plights to the public; Perhaps I am

One aspect of blogging that truly daunts me is just how public it is. With a click of a button I'm revealed for all to see - at least those who bothered to check my site out. What is any discerning text without vulnerability though? What's the point if there is no soul and no heart? What do I think I'm doing by not writing about my woes? To seem more well-adjusted - HAH! That ships already sailed. After all, any story need's it's conflict. I can only pray my future self doesn't go on a shamepage - shame-rampage - and delete all these entries from how humilatingly honest I'm being. If someone is reading this, I can promise you that I am not this pessimistic.I think sharing my thoughts will help with my confidence!

I'm already so fuffilled by this blog I haven't felt this genuinely proud of my creations in weeks, months, even years.

It's currently 12:53am, I can only hope the day is better after a replenishing rest. All I can do is hope. I hope and hope and hope.

Sincerely, Zoe